We do not know how to love
You don’t know what it is to love, no one has taught you.
When we learn to truly love, this surpasses any state of infatuation, it is conscious love.
This video aims to make people think about our way of loving and conceiving relationships with reflections from authors such as Dr. Marian Rojas Estapé, Mario Alonso Puig, Borja Vilaseca, Sergi Torres, Walter Riso, Nilda Chiaraviglio or Alejandro Jodorowsky.
We confuse “loving” with “being in love”. It is normal that we do not know how to differentiate and put everything in the same bag, because that is what we have always been told, no one really teaches us what it is to love consciously.
Hollywood, pop songs, romantic ballads, rancheras, soap operas, all speak of a romantic love based on falling in love, as if the physical state of being in love will last forever. Therein lies the key difference, since being in love and loving are not the same thing .
Infatuation is a temporary physical and mental state of about 17 months, according to Dr. Marian Rojas Estapé, in which “we are like a chimpanzee with a Magnun 44”, that is, it is a state of mind that encourages us to do crazy things, such as getting married, as Walter Riso, doctor of psychology and writer, says. According to writer Pablo d’Ors, we are victims of the romantic myth. In a sarcastic tone he states that being in love is a state of transient mental derangement.
Getting married is the last thing we should do if we are in love, “if you are in love don’t get married”, as Doctor and sexologist Nilda Chiaraviglio says, who affirms that after falling in love is when we really start to get to know someone.
Loving is an emotional decision, you can choose who you love and prove it with deeds, is one of the statements made by Mario Alonso Puig in the video, who also states that we continue to hold our partners responsible for our responsibility.
We love from the lack, we look for someone to cover our emotional deficiencies, as Borja Villaseca says, “we enter the love market, feeling incomplete, like a better half”.
Society makes us think that we are not enough, so from low self-esteem, we look for a partner to feel better and be worth more because we believe that we are not worth it on our own. We do not know ourselves and know how to be alone, so we cannot love in a healthy and selfless way, are some of the statements made by Marian Rojas Estapé and Borja Vilaseca.
We have relationships based on the fear of losing the other, the fear of not being loved as we are and the fear of leaving. This fear is precisely what prevents us from loving, according to Segi Torres.
We choose wrongly, we fall in love from lack to be with a person we want to change. If you want to change your partner, he or she is not the right one, according to Alejandro Jodorowsky in his definition of conscious love. Conscious love is nothing to take away, nothing to add.
Don’t believe anything you just read, experiment and think for yourself.
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